In 2017 Hannah Griffiths, 35, who was still planning her actual big day with partner James Leeming, 42, put on a special ceremony for grandmother Ruby Higgs, who suffered from dementia and was too ill to attend the real wedding. Hannah and James were 'married' at a mock ceremony in Hartley Park Care Home in Plymouth, Devon, by a care assistant. Hannah, who described Ruby, 95, as her rock, wore her white wedding dress and the couple were surrounded by flowers and musicians. It was a day of celebration with other patients at the care home, who blessed the couple in their union.
As care giving gets more and more complicated, with fast paced lifestyles, increasing costs of living and demanding jobs, elderly parents and grand parents are often voluntarily resorting to a life in care homes- with proper medical assistant and help. Asian families – that are traditionally big and inclusive are also taking up the nuclear models, with elderly in the family, especially those who have complex physical ailments being moved to care homes.
Arti Patel, speaking to Asian Voice said, “I love my father-in-law. Recently he has been suffering from dememtia. Initially we kept him at home, but he soon started getting disoriented, opening the door and walking out in the middle of the night, or leaving the shower or gas on. So the doctor suggested we don't keep him at home any more. We have three children- so I need to contribute financially too. That means I am not at home more often than I want to. Hence, we decided to move him to a care home. But he is still as much a part of our life. We just celebrated our wedding anniversary at the care home where my father-in-law is staying.”
While care homes, regularly organise events like valentine's day, birthdays, anniversaries and Royal weddings or birth celebrations, they are opening the doors to more and more weddings to involve loved ones into the family's special ceremonies. Some choose to host a formal celebration- while others organise for a mock wedding, to ensure their elderly family members can bless them with their presence.
Councillor’s Care Home wedding
Similar was the arrangement in case of a Conservative politician, who took part in a historic marriage ceremony recently at a local care home.
Councillor Ameet Jogia from Harrow who recently got married to Priya Jatania, held his 'Mandvo', pre-marriage ceremony, at Karuna Manor Care Home, where his father Narottambhai Jogia is currently a resident.
The ceremony was the first marriage that has taken place in a care home. The ceremony took place after Ameet’s father was suddenly taken ill with terminal cancer in March last year. Narottambhai became a resident at Karuna in August 2018 after his cancer was incurable.
Narottambhai’s last wish was to see his son married and Karuna Manor arranged to help Ameet host his wedding ceremony at the care home after his father was not well enough to leave his home.
The celebrations were small and colourful and all residents and staff at Karuna Manor were able to attend the ceremony. Karuna Manor was turned into a Mandap, with flowers, decorations and food, with the ceremony taking place in the in-built Mandir at the home, with prayers and offerings from the in-house priest. Many of the residents dressed and attended the ceremony as part of the groom’s family and gave their blessings to the couple.
Anand Bhatt, Community Development Manager at Karuna Manor said it was a historic occasion for the home, “It was an honour to host a wedding at this care home and to help Ameet’s family conduct this last wish for his father and mother Hansaben Jogia. It was also a wonderful experience for all the residents and staff to attend a wedding.”
Karuna Manor is an awarding winning home in Harrow where the focus is on spirituality and quality of life. The home is unique and specialises in residential and nursing care for the elderly with Gujarati food cooked for residents every day.
Ameet and Priya (daughter of Deepakbhai Jatania - former President of the Lohana Community North London - and Premaben Jatania) where later able to conduct the rest of their wedding celebrations with friends and family late last year.
