Our paths cross with millions of people during our lifetime. Some of them we interact with closely, while others merely pass by. A few are our relatives, brought by destiny; others are people we consciously choose to be with. Some are accidental companions, while a select few are those with whom we genuinely yearn to share our journey. All of them, in one way or another, are our fellow travellers. And each of them is on a journey of their own.
Imagine that we take a train from one destination to another. During the journey, we meet many passengers who have taken the same train for a part of their journey. Some may travel with us for a few stations, while others may remain beside us for much longer. During our lifetime, we take many such trains and buses, and at every stage we encounter different fellow passengers.
Life is much the same. We meet different people at different stages, for different lengths of time. Some travel with us only for a short distance, while a few may share a longer time with us. As we interact with these people, some gradually become very important parts of our lives. Others may irritate us, trouble us, or challenge us. A few remain indifferent. The behaviour of people around us in our families, schools, universities, workplaces and society can bring us both pleasure and pain. Yet these feelings, too, are not permanent. Because the people who evoke them are not necessarily permanent in our lives either.
We often forget that people are not travelling for us. They are on their own journeys. When their station arrives, they may have to get down, even if we have grown deeply attached to them, even if we love them, and even if we still need them to remain beside us. But their journey on that particular train has ended. We may continue travelling, while they take another train towards another destination.
Relationships between fellow passengers evolve for many reasons - proximity, the distance travelled together, previous journeys and experiences, future destinations, expectations from life, and even the kinds of fellow passengers they have encountered along the way. Sometimes, what each person carries in their travel bag also matters. If such things bring two people together, we should not necessarily regard the relationship as selfish. It is simply part of the natural interdependence of life.
Sometimes, a friendship that began during a particular phase of life fades when the common need or purpose that brought two people together comes to an end. It is rather like an item in one traveller’s bag that another passenger needed. Once that item is no longer available or required, the reason for their closeness may also disappear. The other passenger may then look elsewhere for what they need. They may change their seat or even take another train. This is not necessarily betrayal. Their journey with us may simply have come to an end. Their circumstances, priorities and destination may have changed.
Nothing in the universe is permanent. People change, relationships change, circumstances change, and eventually every journey comes to an end. Accepting this impermanence can help us heal the wounds we receive along the way. If we learn to look at the people in our lives as fellow passengers rather than as permanent companions, we may become less vulnerable to disappointment.
The wise response is not always to hold on. Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and for the other person is to accept that their station has arrived. Let them get off the train. Let them take the journey that belongs to them. And then, without bitterness, continue on our own journey. There will be other passengers. There will be other stations. There will be other journeys. And, perhaps most importantly, we too are a fellow passenger in someone else's journey.
Elixir:
People are fellow travellers, not permanent companions. They are meant to travel with us for as long as our paths remain together. Not everyone who boards our train is meant to accompany full journey with us. They will get down when their journey ends.
