World Alzheimer’s Month: The story of a grandmother

Wednesday 14th September 2022 07:08 EDT
 
 

To mark World Alzheimer’s Month and day (21st) this month, Dementia UK is this year focusing on post-diagnosis support, aiming to highlight the importance of support for people living with dementia and families following a diagnosis. The estimated number of people with dementia condition in the UK is 944,000. This number is expected to increase to 1.1m by 2030, 1.4m by 2040 and 1.6m by 2050 and almost all of us will know someone affected, whether it’s a family member or a friend. 

Every three minutes, someone in the UK develops dementia, which includes Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form. We know many families struggle with accessing support after a dementia diagnosis. Currently, there is no cure for dementia – but the right support and advice can be life-changing for those living with the condition.

 Ricky Layal lives in Wallington, South London. His 90-year-old grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s of moderate severity in July 2020. His grandmother has lived next door to his parents since before he was born and has always been the family matriarch. They used to watch gameshows together, and she taught him Punjabi. She often hosted family get-togethers with lots of food. 

Speaking to Dementia UK, Ricky said, “Looking back, there were signs that something was wrong when I got married and moved into my own home in 2017. Gran was becoming forgetful and mixing up people’s names, but as she was in her early 80s, we just put it down to her getting older. Over time, Gran’s condition worsened. She was forgetting how to do everyday tasks and neglecting her appearance, and I realised she was showing signs of dementia.” 

 

It took a long time to get a diagnosis. Initially, the GP put her problems down to age, and Ricky’s mum had to be really persistent. Then, in 2020, a brain scan confirmed that Ricky’s gran had Alzheimer’s. 

 

“In the Indian community, there is a stigma around dementia. Gran’s friends are unaware of her diagnosis and would struggle to understand it. But since I’ve spoken up, some of my friends have come forward to say their grandparents have dementia too,” Ricky said.

 

Lockdown stripped Gran of her independence and robbed us of valuable time. She used to go to the temple every morning, and a day centre once a week where she entertained everyone with Punjabi songs, but now she mostly stays inside.  

 

Since Ricky’s Gran’s was diagnosed, he has called the Dementia Helpline several times. “It’s reassuring to have someone listen without judgement. The Admiral Nurses offered practical advice, like suggesting that we buy some colouring books for Gran to keep her mind active. They also reminded me to take care of my own mental health. My mum, like many family carers, is reluctant to ask for help, but she too has phoned the Helpline for advice. There were several days when Gran rang her at 3am thinking it was morning and wanting to go round. It was good for my mum to be able to talk things through. The Admiral Nurses do an amazing job and they are so vital to providing advice and keeping mental health in check – it is always good to talk through things. There is no cure for dementia, but there are ways to cope and manage and what works one day might not work the next day,” he told Dementia UK.

 

 

Ricky feels like he is grieving his Gran even though she is still alive. She doesn’t remember celebrations such as Diwali, which she always loved, and her conversations are the same every day.  

 

Ricky completed the ‘Run for Strava’ 50-mile challenge in November last year and raised over £630 for Dementia UK. “Next year I will be taking up the 10-mile hiking challenge up the Surrey Hills to raise money once again. 


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