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How rising living costs are making young Asians fly back to their nest!

Rupanjana Dutta Wednesday 13th February 2019 14:05 EST
 

Anuj Patel, 28, with a successful job in finance felt proud when he bought a one bed flat in London's Canary wharf, in 2016, and moved from his family home in Harrow to live on his own. But by the end of 2018, he decided to move back to live with his parents, as he could not bear the cost of living on his own as well as save for his future.

Though the first generation British Asians often have lived in long extended families, the Millennials who are a part of the 'Boomerang Generation' have been choosing to live on their own, to maintain their choice of lifestyle and independence. However with increasing employment, financial and housing crises in the UK, same people are moving back to their parents' home, unable to cope with the financial stress.

Quarter of 20 to 34 year olds are living with their parents according to a study by think tank Civitas. This has increased by 41% in London since 1998, where housing is most expensive, but by much less in cheaper areas like North-East England (14%) and Yorkshire and the Humber (17%). For 23 year olds all over the UK, the number of people living with parents in 2017 has gone up to 49% from 37% in 1998.

Culturally more conventional, Asian parents, who emphasise on children working at white collar jobs over as barristas, are mostly embracing their children back home with an open arm, but not everybody is happy to look after their adult children, living in the family home forever.

Sunil Dhar, from University of Westminster, was looking for any possible job when he graduated in 2012. The job market in London was tough for a just out of college student, and housing costs were high.

“There was no administrative work, no cafe or supermarket jobs either. I have been staying with my parents ever since. My sister has also moved back into our parents' house for similar reasons.” The move however has allowed him to invest in building a career as a business consultant, and save for retirement. He added, “It's one of the smartest things one can do. But just be aware there are certain things you need to do to make it work- like do not over depend on your parents, and try to contribute to the household wherever you can – financially or otherwise.”

Not all parents are happy

According to a new study by the London School of Economics parents whose grown up kids move back to their otherwise empty homes are experiencing a decline in their quality of life. Grazia reported that the research analysed the wellbeing of parents across 17 European countries whose lives are now being interrupted by their adult children returning home after having previously fled the nest. Giving their quality of life a score between 12 and 48 based on factors that indicated ‘control’, ‘autonomy’, ‘pleasure’ and ‘self-realisation’, it was found that the parents of ‘Generation Z’ children had generally lower scores.

Anurag and Mili Kapoor were looking forward to the days when their children would finally move out of the family home- living on their own. “We raised independent children. My boy is an engineer and daughter is a junior doctor. We hoped that they would move out after they find jobs. But they both still live in the same house as us. They simply cannot afford to work and save, living outside home. That means we are still cooking, cleaning and looking after their needs, which we do not want to do. But they work long hours, and their jobs don't pay enough. So we feel compelled to help out. Such a catch 22 situation.”

But a recent study by Society and Mental Health has also discovered that young adults who lived independently were less depressed, better off financially and more likely to have well-achieved professionally. Moving back home after living on their own, even if it's in universities, can feel like a huge step backwards. So much so, that it can have a negative impact on their mental health.

Sanya Bhatt lives with her mother and brother in Birmingham. Recently widowed, her mother works as a teacher, while her teenager brother is studying in a school. Speaking to Asian Voice she said, “My first choice was living on my own. I got a job in a school in Manchester, after graduating with a degree in Maths. But I decided to move back to Birmingham to help my mother, who could not cope alone after my dad passed away last year. It also helped me to save for future. I want to train in accountancy and take exams, which will need a lot of money. However the situation currently does not really help me to save as much, because I have to contributre equally to running the household.” While her mother Amina thinks Sanya is duty bound to contribute to the family as an adult, she finds it odd that her mum expects her to 'pull her weight'.

Not all gloom and doom

Shreya Datta, who works in the education industry, studied history in the University of Warwick. She moved back with her parents in Orpington, because initially she did not have a job and had no choice. “Being a student I had racked up a big overdraft which I only recently have come out of. So I definitely couldn't have moved out right after graduation, and is still not feasible in the foreseeable future.”

But all is not gloom and doom for Shreya. “Living with parents comes with its own perks. There is someone to look after me, I get hot food when I go home after a long day at work. Just that living in Kent and working in Central London makes the commute really long. Sometimes it also feels a loss of independence, always having to answer to and being far away from the city.”

Akheel Alam, whose son has moved back to live with the family, feels it is odd that parents expect children to go away. We Asians are tuned to co-exist in big families with cousins, uncle, aunt and grand parents. I don't mind that my 25 year old son hasn't flown from the nest and still lives with us. We are looking forward to him getting married, living with us, and us growing old with our grandchildren.”

(Some names are changed on request)


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