“I had a TV audition recently and I was given the script on the day. They realised that I was dyslexic and...there was a long discussion in the room.” Humaira goes silent for a few seconds and picks up “The director then sat with me and told me “It seems that you're very talented but you're not getting roles because of your dyslexia a-and that was when I cracked!”
Humaira Iqbal is an actress, and a writer with learning difficulties and incredible parents as pillars of support but after entering drama school she started suffering from inferiority complex.
“I felt really judged in a way that this was going to stop me from auditioning for this massive TV Production ever again and since then I haven't seen them again.
And I got scared because I don't want anyone to blacklist me on my dyslexia” she argues.
Humaira did not face any discrimination from the community but recalls how kids called her 'dumb' in school because of her spellings.
“I could never spell people correctly. It was always 'Piple' to me and there was this kid who used to laugh at me and always called me dumb.”
“A lot of dyslexic people in general are just wanting to hide away”
However, Humaira discovered her love for acting, took up the subject in her GCSE and went on to excel in her field in university and later joined the National Youth Theatre and then managed to enter the Drama School. There are roughly about only 1% of South Asian actors who are in the Drama School out of the 6000 positions that the School offers. The actress said how “sad” it was that a lot of people were unaware about the learning complexity and need to be educated about Dyslexia.
Humaira thinks, “a lot of dyslexic people in general are just wanting to hide away from their dyslexia. They don't want to be made to feel that there is something strange or different about them. As dyslexic actors we need to not feel ashamed to ask questions.”
But this behavioural pattern of ostracising people for suffering through learning difficulties encompasses the wider scope of Asian women who are diagnosed with fertility complexities, terminal illnesses such as cancer and mental health among others.
“Don't send letters to my GP, he is a family friend”
“The first reaction in most cases of infertility is the women immediately assuming that there is something wrong with them,” said Dr. Arpita Ray MBBS, MD, DFFP, MRCOG at Bourn Hall Fertility Clinic.
The doctor talks about how difficult it is to explain Vaginismus to most Asian couples and tell them that because of this condition, there is a possibility that the couple has not had a good physical relationship. On recommending consultation with a psycho-sexual counsellor the first response I receive is-
“I don't want to speak to the counsellor about my intimate relationship and if I have to then will the counsellor be a male or a female?” the doctor disclosed.
Dr. Ray also spoke about how she has dealt with patients who have requested about “not sending letters detailing their consultation to their GP as he happens to be a family friend.”
Within the Asian population Dr. Ray is quick at pointing out how women tend to delay seeking help for any gynae related problems including Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), Endometriosis, weight loss among others.
“I am given unsolicited advice by many, about surrogacy”
“There was a long build up to this diagnosis, as it is often misdiagnosed, and many, like me, can spend a decade suffering with excruciating periods” said Ashanti Omkar, presenter of the South Indian and Sri Lankan show at the BBC Asian Network.
Ashanti discussed her battle with Endometriosis and her journey of being diagnosed with (PCOS) to discovering about her disease only when it had reached Stage 4. Along with Endometriosis, she also suffered from Adenomyosis. She revealed how she had been talking about the subject for years, but many simply didn’t believe that there was an issue
“Moreover, this was just seen as a women’s issue, so it wasn’t easy to really discuss it in depth with anyone outside my husband who continued to be my rock and a few understanding friends. ”
The most dominant practice that underpins the Asian culture here in the UK as well is the consistent pressure of expecting kids after the couple is married. And a couple who hasn't delivered the “good news” is soon to spark off speculation along the lines of something being wrong with the woman.
“I am often asked about whether I have children, and am given unsolicited advice by many, about surrogacy, adoption, IVF e.t.c. I’m now blunt and say that I have had a hysterectomy, and that my husband and I made a joint decision to build a legacy that isn’t by way of having children, biological or otherwise,” Ashanti disclosed.
Women like Ashanti and Humaira argue for finding a support group which can help in having a positive attitude towards life despite living with a chronic condition that has no foreseeable fix. Even a tweet like that of Humaira's can make a difference with the number of people who would reach out to you and share their experience.
