Aveer is my son, who I delivered on Sunday 19th January at 9.57pm. Aveer was an incredibly special baby – as he did not take a single breath in this world.
At 36 weeks of pregnancy, my husband and I were devastated to find out that our baby had a brain abnormality which would lead to severe mental suffering in the unlikely event that he would survive. We were advised a termination would be in the best interest of our baby rather than put him through a lifetime of suffering.
In Aveer’s memory, I am organising a sponsored walk called Aveer’s Footprints on Sunday 17 th May.
Given the current circumstances of the pandemic, this 5k walk can take place anytime, anywhere.
The walk will help us raise funds for SANDS (www.sands.org.uk)– a stillbirth and neonatal charity, who have supported us in numerous ways to cope with the loss of our first baby.
Since January, we had attended their support groups and were provided with a memory box when we left the hospital, much like other bereaved parents who go without their baby in their arms.
The memory box contained items such as his footprints and handprints, his hospital bands, and a giraffe toy. This was a huge comfort to us at this intensely emotional and challenging time and we decided to fundraise for SANDS so they can continue to care for other bereaved parents through their helplines and support groups.
We are also organising this walk to bring baby loss awareness to light, which is often considered a taboo subject and not openly discussed. From what I experienced, people often feel if they bring up my loss, it will remind me of the pain. Yet, the loss of a baby is like an emptiness in a mother’s heart, which cannot be filled, despite whether people discuss my grief with me or not.
I am writing this to encourage you to acknowledge that there was a loss and that a life existed, despite this being a challenging topic to bring up. I ask you not to shy away from the topic. Talk about baby loss as you would talk about any loss. Many parents suffer in silence, however much like any other loss, pretending it didn’t happen won’t improve the situation. The more we talk about baby loss, the more we can accept it does happen. To bereaved parents - I encourage you to talk about the love for your baby to help with your healing.
If you can, I urge you to walk with us on Sunday 17 th May and/or donate to raise funds for SANDS and all money raised will be match-funded by our family foundation – Hemraj Goyal Foundation. You may register for the walk at https:/eventbrite.co.uk/e/ aveers-footprints-tickets-103809 027596 and donate at https:/justgiving.com/ fundraising/aveersfootprints.
Together we can encourage the awareness of baby loss.
I would like to thank you in advance for your support.
With love and thanks,
Selina Goyal
Aveer’s Mum
