Trigger Warning: Sandeep Saib had been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, body dysmorphic disorder and OCD, and had tried to take her own life.
Like others in a similar position, Sandeep is incredibly brave to have shared her story and to have sought professional help. In our South Asian culture, there is a huge stigma around mental health. Although the situation is changing, slowly, the stigma remains.
Here’s her exclusive interview with Asian Voice:
What's the first thing a person with the slightest mental health issue can do in order to get the right help?
* Talk it out - even with the "slightest mental health issue", it is important to first talk it out and ensure that you communicate to someone that you can trust. It can be anyone, a family member, friend, your teacher, faith community leader etc. Whoever it may be, do make sure that you feel that you are not pressurised in any way and take your time, but are also comfortable and in a safe space to talk and speak out about your mental health issues. Sometimes just talking it out can really help a lot and ease the weight off your shoulders. Give it a go.
* Ensure that you seek professional support from your GP/healthcare professional/professional therapists and counsellors - there are many who specialise in various different mental health areas and it is definitely worth exploring further to get holistic tailored mental health support. In the past few years, I am seeing an increase in more Asian healthcare mental health professionals who are keen to make a difference, which is fantastic to see in this community.
* Ensure that you seek other lines of support "self-help" - there are many bespoke local peer-led support groups that you can join and be part of either via the Council in your local area or via local mental health charities and organisations -, really helpful to connect with like-minded people, surround yourself with them - these organisations can also provide alternative valuable therapies such as social inclusion, employment-related support, resources i.e. 'five ways to wellbeing', '10 keys to happier living’, 'great dream' etc. Self-help techniques can really help empower you to take control of your own mental health and allow you to make your own positive choices to look after your overall well-being generally.
* Value and love yourself - ensure that you respect yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and avoid self-criticism. Make time for sale-care i.e. your hobbies and favourite projects, or broaden your horizons. Do a daily crossword puzzle, plant a garden, take dance lessons, learn to play an instrument or become fluent in another language. Try journalising and positive affirmations.
* Physical wellbeing - do make sure that you are keeping yourself physically active and also eating healthier and consuming the right type of foods. Do take care of your body and it will do the same for you.
* Sleep - we take this for granted, but ensuring you have enough sleep. Aim for 7-8 hours each night.
What would you tell South Asian families, who may not be open and brave about mental health and the help it requires?
Understandably in healthcare settings and when talking about mental health, South Asians may be unwilling to acknowledge strong emotion, grief, or pain due to their family and cultural values. But I'd like to say to them/those who are reading, you are never alone. Health is the most important and without that, then what are we. I'd like to encourage you all to take that huge first step in opening up, and being brave in speaking about Mental Health. Slowly the more we do, barriers will be overcome and we can begin to fight the stigma and discrimination against our community aligned to Mental Health. Don't be bound or stopped by our culture, identity etc in light of Mental Health. We need to do it together to combat any fear those struggling in silence have in coming out and talking about their Mental Health. If not us, then who. We need to change the dialogue around Mental Health for not just you and me, but our children - their future and their generation. Taking that one step, will leave such a huge positive footprint on Mental Health and will help the countless amount of people.
Tell us a bit about your experience in therapy? How challenging was it to find the right one? How has it helped you?
Being a British Sikh woman with lived experience of mental health issues diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and suicide survivor, finding a therapist has been an experience. During my recovery journey, I’ve seen three therapists who tried their best to understand my perspective as much as they could, but none of them, I'm sorry to say, were of Asian background. I’m a woman, I’m British, I’m Asian, I’m Indian - I have all these different identities and I would have loved to have had someone to talk to that looked like me. You're dealing with very complex needs for each individual and it’s not a straightforward case. You’ve got to unpick each issue and find out what the core issue is in that person.
Nonetheless, those therapists that I saw, one in particular helped me a lot. Within the first 3-4 weeks of therapy, I began to stop weighing myself, stop my food diary and gently ease up on the exercise.
Bearing in mind society, healthcare and the mental health domain have now moved on and developed and I'm pleased to say they are so many fantastic charities out there now also Asian healthcare professionals have a platform to showcase their knowledge and expertise. I'm still going through my recovery, but throughout everything I've been through, I’ve obtained self-confidence and I obtained a sense of self-empowerment which was never going to be easy, but the support for and around me, it helped. I put myself out there to find out more about the help that is available and that's what I tend to do in terms of my advocacy work - to champion and be the voice for people of colour for mental health issues and do what we can together.
