Speed dating might be designed for fun and romance, but for many South Asians navigating cultural expectations and safety concerns, these spaces can be fraught with anxiety.
Amit Sodha — known affectionately as The Love Doctor — is a seasoned Holistic Love Coach who’s been guiding singles for over three decades. With 17 years specialising in dating and relationship coaching, he’s also the founder of ConnectAsian, a platform that brings together South Asian singles through innovative, activity-led events.
What sets Sodha apart is how deeply he integrates safety, mindfulness, and emotional awareness into his events. “I don’t run speed dating the traditional way,” Sodha says. “We start with icebreakers to help people relax and let their guard down. That’s when red flags, if any, become easier to spot — both for participants and for me.”
Amit also uses a custom-designed pack of Spark Conversation Cards, which help daters ask deeper questions beyond surface-level small talk. “It’s not just about what someone does for a living,” he adds. “It’s about values, personalities, and intentions.”
For first-timers: What you should know
His advice to new attendees? “Know your organiser. Can you meet them? Talk to them? At my events, I’m front of house. People know they can approach me or my team with anything. I don’t tolerate misbehaviour, and I want everyone to feel safe.”
He also encourages attendees to reach out ahead of time if they have concerns. “Even a two-minute chat beforehand can go a long way in easing nerves,” he says.
With a strong community presence, including WhatsApp groups and Facebook communities, Amit often receives concerns about individuals’ behaviour and he takes each report seriously. “People trust me with sensitive information. I ask for some form of proof, like screenshots, and if there’s enough evidence, I act immediately — remove the individual and ask questions later.”
To prevent repeat offences, Sodha has a private system for tracking those with a history of predatory or inappropriate behaviour.
A message for the South Asian community
Sodha is acutely aware of the cultural hesitation many South Asians face around dating and speaking up. Women, in particular, often remain silent after negative experiences.
“Sadly, I’ve seen women isolate themselves after one bad experience — even if they spotted red flags,” he says. “We need to make it okay to speak up. It’s not shameful to prioritise your safety.”
His platform actively educates users. Matchmaking emails contain clear boundaries, like: If someone brings up money, tell us immediately. “Too many get caught up in emotional attachment and give money hoping to hold on to someone. It never works,” he says.
He’s also adamant that safety is for everyone, not just women. “I’m 6’3 and can handle myself, but even I took precautions while dating. Share your live location on WhatsApp with a trusted friend. Schedule a check-in call. We all have the tools and we just need to use them.”
For Amit, safety isn’t an afterthought; it’s embedded into the ethos of every event. In a community where conversations about dating and abuse are often stifled, he’s working to change the narrative — one honest, heart-centred interaction at a time.
“At the end of the day,” he says, “it’s about helping people find love without fear.”
