Divorce is on the rise among British Asian couples, with many discovering that their marriage is far from a 'happily ever after'.
Whether arranged or based on love, marital breakdown is becoming increasingly common across South Asian communities, signalling a shift in long-standing cultural attitudes. Once considered taboo, divorce is gradually being seen as a valid personal choice — though stigma and legal hurdles remain significant, particularly for women.
While divorce is still less common among British South Asians compared to other ethnic groups, recent figures highlight a steady increase. Approximately 10% of British Pakistani Muslims and Indian Sikhs are now separated or divorced. Around 8% of Bangladeshi Muslims, 7% of Indian Muslims, and 6% of Indian Hindus have also experienced marital separation.
In contrast, 20% of White British adults and 27% of Black Caribbeans have gone through divorce or separation. These statistics, reported by the International Sociological Association’s Global Dialogue, suggest that although cultural values continue to influence family life, younger generations are becoming more willing to challenge traditional expectations.
Traditionally marked by strong family values and low divorce rates, British South Asian families are beginning to reflect broader societal changes. Experts suggest this rise in divorce is not merely the result of assimilation into Western norms but is also driven by evolving gender roles, increased autonomy, and a desire for personal happiness over community pressure.
Shame, Isolation and Mental Health Struggles
Despite the increase, divorce remains a deeply sensitive subject within many South Asian communities, often tied to notions of family honour and social status. However, according to Shazia Datoobhoy, an integrative therapist who specialises in trauma and works with clients from a variety of cultural backgrounds, the landscape is slowly changing, even if the road remains difficult.
“Things have definitely changed—no doubt about it,” says Datoobhoy. “I now have quite a few Asian clients, Pakistani and Indian women in particular, who are beginning to realise they don’t have to tolerate abusive treatment. More and more are going through the divorce process.”
A major driver of this shift is the rise in financial independence among South Asian women. “They’re educated, they’re professionals, and they’re no longer economically dependent on their husbands,” says Datoobhoy. “That gives them the power to say, ‘I don’t have to live like this.’”
However, this growing awareness hasn’t entirely dismantled deep-rooted community pressures. The fear of judgment, of “what will people say?”, remains a powerful force. “There’s pressure to maintain the appearance of a happy family,” Datoobhoy explains. “Even when there’s clear emotional or physical harm, many women still feel pushed to ‘make it work.’”
Additionally, men, she argues, are not immune to the pressures either. Many have been raised in households where emotional expression is stifled. “From a young age, they’re told not to cry, not to talk about feelings. That repression affects their adult relationships,” she says. “Though I am starting to see more Asian men come to therapy, they rarely talk about it. The stigma around seeking help still runs deep.”
Legal challenges for women
Women face unique legal and religious barriers when seeking divorce, particularly in cases where South Asian marriages are not formally registered under UK civil law. Without civil recognition, women are left vulnerable—lacking access to legal protections around finances, housing, or child custody.
According to Ayesha Vardag, Founder and President of Vardags, this legal blind spot often leads to a clash between cultural expectations and the realities of British law. “There is a real expectation mismatch for South Asian families divorcing in England and Wales,” she says. “The families often expect there will be an informal, family-driven determination based just on meeting what they feel are the wife’s needs. But if she finds out what her legal rights are, she’s likely to walk off with 50% of everything the couple built up during the marriage.”
For many women, particularly in wealthier households, understanding these rights can be transformative—shifting the decision to leave from one of fear and financial insecurity to one of confidence and fairness. “For wives in wealthy couples, it can be the difference between feeling trapped in a marriage or walking away with financial independence,” Vardag explains. “For husbands, they’re facing potentially a 50% tax on their entire net worth.”
While stigmas still linger, there is growing recognition that divorce is no longer a moral failing but a reality of modern life. For Britain’s South Asian communities, especially younger generations, the conversation around divorce is evolving.
Support networks, legal awareness, and more open dialogue are key to helping individuals move forward without fear of judgement.
