The first global conference on childhood verbal abuse (CVA), hosted by Words Matter (https://wordsmatter.org/), World Health Organisation (WHO), and University College London (UCL), revealed that CVA costs society $300 billion annually worldwide. Titled "Words Matter: Impact and Prevention of Childhood Verbal Abuse," it marks the first collaborative effort to tackle this issue.
Childhood verbal abuse by adults, which includes blaming, insulting, scolding, or criticising children, is a prevalent form of child maltreatment that can have severe and lasting impacts on mental and physical health, leading to issues such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-harm, substance abuse, and suicide. Furthermore, it can detrimentally affect a child's self-esteem, relationships, and overall functioning in various areas of life.
In the UK, 41% of children experience verbal abuse by adults, with over half experiencing it weekly and 1 in 10 experiencing it daily. Primary sources of such abuse include parents, carers, teachers, friends' parents, and activity leaders. Emotional abuse, of which verbal abuse is a significant component, is now the most prevalent form of childhood abuse.
Verbal abuse in South Asian households and its impact
According to Professor Shanta R. Dube (Professor and Director, Master of Public Health Program, Department of Public Health in the Levine College of Health Sciences, Wingate University, US), in South Asian households, childhood verbal abuse often manifests through power dynamics. While patriarchal dynamics dominate, matriarchal dynamics also exist.
“South Asian cultures are group-centred and want to ensure “shame” is not brought to the family unit. Often verbal abuse may be part of the method to manifest “bringing order. There is also a focus on achievement and pride; children experience criticism and comparisons with other children within the family unit and outside often occur.
“In the systematic review, we found that the adult speech behaviour included criticism and making comparisons which adversely impacts children, making them feel rejected and negatively impacting self-concept.”
Explaining the impact of childhood verbal abuse, Professor Xiangming Fang, (Professor & Director of the Centre for Health Economics and Policy at China Agricultural University and the School of Public Health at Georgia State University) said, “Childhood verbal abuse can have profound and enduring effects on individuals, transcending cultural boundaries. Within the South Asian community, where berating is often more prevalent, its impact can be particularly significant due to cultural norms emphasising authority and respect.
“The repercussions of verbal abuse during childhood are diverse, encompassing low self-esteem, mental health disorders, academic struggles, delinquency, adult criminality, impaired relationship formation, diminished earning potential, and chronic health issues. Preventing verbal abuse can enable children to reach their full potential, yielding societal benefits such as improved health, reduced violence and crime rates, and enhanced educational and economic prospects.
“Moreover, the intergenerational transmission of verbal abuse can perpetuate dysfunctional cycles within families and communities. For example, children who endure verbal abuse may be more prone to replicating such behaviours in adulthood. Verbal abuse is also often more prevalent in low socioeconomic families, exacerbating health and education disparities and perpetuating cycles of poverty and inequality.”
Tina Chummun is a UKCP-accredited person-centred trauma specialist psychotherapist & wellness coach. According to her, there exists a misconception and negative stigma associated with mental health, within the South Asian community. “Specifically, when the term "mental health" is mentioned, many South Asian individuals often only associate it with diagnosed conditions such as schizophrenia or psychosis. However, it's important to recognise that mental health encompasses a broad spectrum of concerns, including stress, anxiety and sadness.”
Discussing the prevalence of childhood verbal abuse in South Asian communities and its impact, she said, “There's a historical context that contributes to the prevalence of certain behaviours, such as the emphasis on success and achievement stemming from the trauma of colonialism and migration. Many South Asian parents feel compelled to excel and provide materially for their families as a result. However, this drive for success often leads to high levels of stress, which can manifest in unhealthy ways. Unfortunately, this stress is sometimes directed towards children as parents struggle to cope.
“Verbal abuse from parents can have profound and long-lasting effects on a child's self-esteem, confidence, and emotional well-being. These effects can extend into adulthood, impacting relationships, work performance, and physical health.”
Fostering a cultural shift towards more positive and nurturing forms of communication
Children are concrete thinkers – black and white – it is or it isn’t, regardless of cultural context. Professor Dube feels that there is a need toeducate adults about childhood development.
She said, “Communication has to be delivered with the observation and awareness of tone, and words. Positive and nurturing words are about communicating in a way that the child can learn to understand the impact of their behaviours and they are recognised when they make positive strides.”
Professor Xiangming Fang added, “Addressing childhood verbal abuse necessitates a holistic approach which encompasses research, awareness-raising, providing support for parents, carers, teachers and all adults around children. Culturally sensitive interventions, involving community leaders and influential figures, are crucial in challenging harmful norms and fostering healthier communication and practices. By breaking the cycle of verbal abuse, communities can foster resilience and well-being among their members, paving the way for a more equitable and thriving society.”
About the role parents, educators, and community leaders play in breaking the cycle of childhood verbal abuse, Professor Dube explains that while childhood verbal abuse may have been the norm generations ago, a cultural shift has to begin with education and awareness as the starting point. The biology of the toxic stress response has to be more visible and understood.
She further added, “We need to understand that the adults themselves may have experienced trauma and what they ‘learned’ is the only way they know how to communicate. We can move toward a cultural shift by breaking the intergenerational cycle by working with adults; helping them heal from their trauma.”
Prof Dube also shared some insights into raising awareness about childhood verbal abuse and promoting prevention efforts stating, “Mindfulness and awareness of our actions and words. Before speaking, assess the situation. Take the time to respond, not react. If a reaction occurs, acknowledge with the child and make amends. They need to be reassured.
“Promote awareness that adults are not alone; ACEs are pervasive and experienced by a large proportion of adults. Trauma healing is a journey and requires engaging in self-care activities that promote our resiliency and well-being (regular exercise, elimination of substance use, nutritious diet, time in nature, and mind-body exercises).”
