Reeta Loi (She/They) is a Storyteller, Music Artist and Buddhist and has been a leading voice for the South Asian LGBTQ+ community for a decade. She has successfully lobbied for the decriminalisation of homosexuality in India and is the Forbes 100 Founder & CEO of Gaysians, the leading UK-based movement for the rights of South Asian LGBTQ+ people. She is former Contributing Editor at Gay Times, has curated TEDxLondon Pride and shared her voice on stages around the world including The Oxford Union, Bloomsbury Festival and Mumbai Pride.
In an interview with Asian Voice, Reeta discussed the inspiration behind starting Gaysians, the role of art and storytelling in bridging cultural gaps and fostering understanding about LGBTQ+ representation, and much more.
What inspired you to start Gaysians, and what were your initial goals? How has it evolved, and what are some of its key achievements?
I kept my sexuality a secret for ten years before I told my parents when I was 28 years old and had met someone, I wanted to share my life with. I was given an ultimatum and so I chose to live life honouring my sexuality and relationship, but I lost my culture. After a long period of depression and not knowing where to go for support, I began sharing my story in the media in the hope that I might help other people like me feel less alone. After about five years of doing this anonymously, I began using my name and face publicly in the hope that I might connect with other LGBTQ+ South Asians and find community. Until recently we were nowhere to be seen. Not on TV, in magazines or newspapers, in LGBTQ+ spaces or in Asian spaces. Once I did this (initially as a columnist at DIVA magazine), people were more easily able to find me. I had been out for 20 years by now and still couldn't see a single version of myself in the media and decided I'd have to be visible myself.
Then I started Gaysians as a way to bring together the people, community organisations and charities I was meeting and learning about but were hard to find. I set up gaysians.org to help people find resources and connect with a very underground community. For seven years, Gaysians has been a vehicle for people to find support as LGBTQ South Asians with faith, gender, housing, mental health, sexual health and find community. We've been entirely volunteer-run and have grown into a global network. Over the years we've spoken to thousands of people with a variety of support needs. The sector is hugely under-funded but over time our charity and community partners have gained more visibility and funding.
What's interesting is that losing my family actually became my privilege. I had nothing to lose, unlike many in our community. So I was able to speak out in a way others couldn't. This allowed me to fight for change, whether through my talks and live performances, my music or the VICE documentary I made. On a personal level, through my art and activism I have been able to find a chosen family.
What challenges do South Asian LGBTQ+ individuals face, and how can these be addressed through community and advocacy work?
We face silencing, disownment, violence, abuse and persecution all over the world, in our homes and families, on the streets and at work. We are still only just starting to unite as a global community and be heard in the media.
The cost of being LGBTQ+ in our community is so terribly high that we more often than not live in secrecy and lead double lives. This isn't good for our mental health. If we come out we face abuse and disownment. The South Asian community has developed a reputation for being unaccepting of their own LGBTQ+ community and this feels so at odds with who we really are. We were once the Superpower of the world and liberal in our sexuality and celebrated gender diversity. While the British are to blame for criminalising homosexuality so they could increase birth rates and extract more wealth from us, we are to blame for not choosing to love and accept our own. Being LGBTQ+ is not a western thing, we were always like this, just look at the Khajuraho temples or Jamali-Kamali and countless other sites across South Asia that depict our true essence.
What role do you think art and storytelling play in bridging cultural gaps and fostering understanding about LGBTQ+ representation?
In my TEDxLondon talk I share the story of India's colonisation, how this affects our lives today and how we can own our identities as our Superpowers. I can't imagine what difference it would have made to me growing up to have seen and had access to stories like my own, to see myself reflected in the world. Art and Storytelling are essential for us to share our experience and to be witnessed, to perhaps even find a sense of belonging and fight the isolation that so many of us experience. Without voicing ourselves, how will others be able to have compassion for us and show up for us? Voicing ourselves and telling our own stories is vital. Last year I curated Pride at Tara Theatre and it was heartwarming to share the stage with so many South Asian LGBTQ+ musicians, poets and actors, all sharing their voices and art. Spaces like this are essential for us and there are more of these events happening now.
How important is community support, and what can allies do to better support South Asian LGBTQ+ voices?
The number one thing I think allies can do is call out homophobia and transphobia within the South Asian community, whether at home with family or with friends. The violence we experience from within our community is immense and we need your help to stand up for us and help protect us. Also if you have a friend who is LGBTQ+, check in on us and go to events with us. So many of us suffer alone. And if you want to support your LGBTQ+ child or family member, head to gaysians.org and check out the Resources section as well as the Letters section to learn about our experiences. There's an amazing organisation called Naz & Matt Foundation that we partner with that are doing fantastic work in the UK to support parents and families and it's wonderful to see a wider community of parents emerging at long last.
