Amit is an award-winning blogger and life coach who now specialises in love. Asian Voice caught up with the sparky motivator after some time: several years on and Amit’s buzzing blog, Unlimited Choice, has hit 1 million followers on Facebook and garnered the title of Best Blog at the Asian Media Awards (2020). However, Amit significantly states meeting his wife as the biggest thrilling win: “we met back in 2015 and have been going strong ever since. Honestly, she is a huge part of the reason I am able to wake up and keep going every day. Some people say they are totally independent, but I think that’s silly – it is important to have some form of support.” Amit had incorporated advice on dating into his life-coaching prior, but has warmly expanded into the domain of modern romance alongside his budding relationship. “I was thrilled to be doing well in this area,” he continued, “and wanted to share some helpful experiential tips with others. I had struggled myself and wanted to make it easier.”
Much of this emotional expert knowledge can be found on Amit’s diverse dating blog: from insights into ‘What Marriage Means’ after five good years to how to ‘Make the Most of Dating Apps’ in the sea of contemporary options that are available to the public. In general, the role model recommends: “going into love with an open mind: it is important to be playful and not take things so seriously, particularly early on. On the other hand: it is also important to stay balanced by not dating too many people at once. These days, there is so much choice that people don’t want to settle. Even if they meet someone who could become their future partner, people tend to continue to date widely for fear of missing out. This is not always helpful.” It seems then that being grounded is ultimately key. Indeed, Amit shared: “I met my wife when I was casually dating but at once mindfully aware. I was relaxed but knew to value our unique connection.” This mindset reverberates throughout Amit’s philosophy:
“Despite having endless variety, it is important not to be overwhelmed by the multitude of choice. For example: in terms of growing a brand, it is important to identify one avenue that is working for you. It’s great to be prolific but that does not matter if you’re distracted from the core project. You must have a definite niche. What you can offer must be clear to your audience – whether it is through a blog, social media or another enterprise, you need to develop a distinct pull which creates that invested following. Can you become a one-stop shop for a specific concept: dating, specialist wisdom, a style or an approach? Keep such output regular and you gain the traction that establishes a platform. Many have gone viral because of one brilliant story or a fun-having piece. Don’t bend to the idea of being big instantly – that one valuable pursuit is fundamentally the way. You could have so many emails in your inbox for a plethora of launches but conversely lose the focus.” Here, Amit added:
“Start by doing the small, more manageable tasks and before you know it you will have achieved your desired goal e.g., if you are too scared to get yourself to a singles night to meet those new people, lay out what you might be wearing first and see how that goes. If your clothes are sitting in the back of your wardrobe, how are you ever going to make it out? Actually, I was hosting a mixer night, Electric Shuffle, and there were a pair of sisters really enjoying themselves. One told me that the other had been averse to just coming, but once she got herself in, she had a beautiful evening. She had been so afraid but ended up having one of the best nights out!” And so, the formula to love is shown as universal to life: building up personal constructive habits creates spectacular profound change: “That’s happiness!”
You are now happily married: what did you do for your one-month anniversary?
My wife took me to a football match; a year later and we seemed to have tied the knot!
How exactly does one relax when so much rides on a first date?
Don’t put so much pressure on it! Often people have multiple rigid tick-boxes. Just let go a little. Also, don’t just judge by that one date. As long as they don’t insult you, it’s always worth going on a second and it’s never too late! There is not always a spark when you first meet. Don’t go in with extremely high expectations. My wife and I were at an engagement party just 7 months ago and got chatting to another couple who’d met around the same time us. The woman shared that the only reason she even went on a second date was because she was bored and hungry but it ended up being a game-changer. Take a bit of a risk and it pays off!
You do have an overflowing wealth of healthy positivity. What would your top advice be in navigating these socially adverse, high-tension times?
I think people become wearied when they’re putting in a lot into something but not getting the results. I suggest activity-based intervention e.g., the best singles evenings, especially after lockdown, are the ones that help get people out of the house and also themselves! I have hosted cricketing and dance socials and people so quickly come out of their shells. Many felt uncomfortable coming by themselves but were bouncing off the walls by the end of the night! I always say: simply come along and within 5 minutes you will feel more yourself. Interact with the world and make those experiences positive – put yourself out there, throwing yourself into new hobbies, travelling and keeping welcoming new ideas. Think it is going to go well and enjoy it.
Big Question: What have you learned to be an overarching truth as a life-coach who has experienced a lot?
I love adapting and keeping active. Go with the flow and don’t limit yourself by paradoxically wanting to do everything.
Over lockdown, I couldn’t go to the gym, but I still went for a long walk; although I couldn’t go out, I could still host party segments on the Radio. That has now evolved into the show, Love Lounge, on Sunrise Radio which is amazing.
There’s actually a popular book that I love called ‘Atomic Habits’ which almost summarises the key to happiness. One good idea in this vein has been cultivating good habits by attaching them to the parts of routine that you already do yourself e.g., if you want to incorporate push-ups and exercise into your life, latch it to going to the bathroom which you were already going to do. Develop that, always celebrating the little things. Even if my wife and I are having a bad day and we can’t walk to the gym, we will still get a ride there so we are still hitting the goals. The trick is to get yourself doing even when you don’t feel like it – just get yourself there as often as possible.
Feel Inspired with Amit Sodha