The Politics of Marriage

Tuesday 10th January 2017 04:44 EST

I am so angry. I’ve just been shown the messages my sister-in-law received from ‘men’ on You would think the clue is in the name of the website – ‘Shaadi’ – marriage. Not ‘quick hook up for sex’.

So I told her to tell these sleaze bucket men that I write in an Asian newspaper and would love to publish their names and the text messages they sent her. Then we told – so if you’re a British Indian man in his 30s and had his account suspended this past week – I’m gonna make you famous.

My sister-in-law together with my wife’s female friends keep me posted on their hellish experiences trying to get married. The Government can offer all the tax breaks it wants, make all the encouraging sounds about how it values marriage in society – including same-sex marriage – but you try being a single British Indian girl in her 30s trying to find a decent husband in Britain today.

With apologies to all the amazing outstanding Indian men in their 30s out there – these ladies despite and something called Asian Single Solution cannot seem to find one. I know at least six girls who from all I can tell are perfectly normal hard-working women, but the choices on these websites are depressing.

They are not being fussy. So here is a note to the boys out there who have character issues from the single ladies I asked – their views NOT mine:

  1. Do not get mommy to call on your behalf – seriously no wife wants to marry a child. Overbearing mothers – let your baby speak now and again. 
  2. Do not bang on about how rich daddy is – wives usually care about what you’ve achieved
  3. They want someone to look up to – not someone for you to look down on
  4. If you want a cook and cleaner – get a cook and cleaner. is good – and a lot cheaper than a wife.
  5. Mommy may be wrong sometimes – if you come across
  6. If you believe in horoscopes, or rather mommy and daddy do, then make it clear on date one, not date 10. 
  7. Stop going on asking for sex. We will find you, we will hunt you down, and then we will make you famous. Especially because in the age of social media, it is so easy to reveal how truly disgusting you are. You are looking for Tinder or Grindr. Stop harassing women who are using Shaadi.comand such sites for what they are meant for.

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