Dear Chancellor,
Well, well, my word. You would have ever thunk it! Going by my Instagram, you’ve got people (women) interested in politics who would never care. And I don’t think it’s the fact you’re ‘hey big spender’.
There are middle aged English ladies swooning – talk about ‘A Passage to India’. You’re more popular than any Chancellor. I mean Dennis Healey’s eyebrows, Gordon Brown’s eyebrows, Normal Lamont’s eyebrows – what is it about Chancellors and eyebrows – you don’t have any competition.
Let’s talk numbers. You’ve got a degree in Economics so you know you need loose monetary and fiscal policies at times of economic contraction. Simple. Trust me. A lot of people don’t get that. What about debt? You’re saddling my son into slavery, cry people.
Well, as Warren Buffett said, debt is not important if the ability to finance it due to low interest charges is there. Of course most people like saying ‘national debt bad’. It’s a mantra – you like that ‘mantra’ – all Indians together.
You also know that if you borrow to invest then that will provide future returns. So please focus on that. And you’ve been clever to know that return on investment should not be based on the old Treasure formula which basically always meant money to London and the South.
You’re worked out that the returns can be greater, because the potential is greater and the costs lower, in investing up north. How do you know this. Well your constituency is in Yorkshire, not Surrey.
I know, I know. Where have you been all our lives?
But no. Some Conservatives will complain you’re spending too much and national debt thing and State becoming too large. And Socialists will say, spend more. Just be careful in your spending and making the State bigger that you are passive investing and not controlling everything. Be like a private equity investor. Oh wait, you know what that actually means. Like me, you are one. Good having someone who ‘gets it’.
And whilst we are at it, technology – that’s the huge revolutionary area. Do you know about tech – hang on, who’s your father in law? No worries, you get the future.
What about spending more as the socialists want? Well, I think a spending Conservative is someone who knows these things wont pay for themselves. So, now the tax part. I hope you know massive hikes wont work. Give your spending time to give back tax revenues, then think about rises.
But, I don’t think you need my advice on anything. I think you get it all. As Cameron once said, at Wembley, in front of PM Modi, “we will in my lifetime see an Indian PM of Britain”.
Tell you what, at least your spending British money as an Indian, a lot better than a Briton, Warren Hastings did, of Indian money.
