When blessed with the grace of the Almighty and the support of our community, little else is needed in life. I am grateful to serve once again.
“Bhoolya Visarnya na bheru thājo re lol…” - never forget those who were close to you: elders, mentors, and those who shaped your life. Their wisdom and love should remain alive in our hearts. These words, simple yet profound, continue to resonate with me, as does the hymn from my childhood in Karnali during my mother Pujya Kamalaba’s time.
In today’s fast-paced world, many individuals become “forgotten souls,” gradually pushed to the margins, even by those they love. Some may live within their families yet feel completely alone. This loneliness, in my view, is more harmful than cancer. While cancer presents symptoms and can be treated medically, loneliness is invisible and its remedy lies in the warmth of family rather than any prescription.
But where does this
loneliness come from?
While modern technology claims to connect families, many people are more engaged with their devices than those next to them. This is especially tough on elders, who often struggle with technology and don't always receive patient help from younger family members. In Britain, "family" now typically means a small nuclear unit, rather than the larger joint families of the past. Changing social structures, migration, and a desire for independence have led to smaller households, and increased loneliness.
Loneliness can affect people in families or among crowds, caused by health issues, financial stress, chronic illness, or feeling ignored. Its weight can be overwhelming, often leaving individuals unsure who to talk to or who cares how they feel. Over time, this sense of isolation grows, leading people to withdraw into themselves, which harms both their physical and emotional well-being.
Dear readers, it is important to recognise that not all older adults experience loneliness. Many individuals in their seventies, eighties, and nineties lead active and fulfilling lives. For instance, my close associate, Professor Chandrakant Patel, exemplifies this perspective; residing in the United States, he continues to travel independently to India each year even at the age of 91, engaging freely with colleagues and friends across the country.
Similarly, as I approach 90, I remain devoted to my professional pursuits, travel whenever feasible, and strive to connect with others. Achieving such a lifestyle is contingent upon factors including sound physical and mental health, a positive outlook, support from family, and a measure of resilience. Fundamentally, I adhere to a straightforward principle: “Make the most of today.”
It is important to recognise that not all elderly individuals are able to avoid isolation. As previously noted, many senior citizens experience loneliness for various reasons. For these individuals, Age UK has played a significant role, aided by support from both government and the wider community. Data published by Age UK highlights the emotional circumstances faced by a substantial portion of the elderly population.
On Christmas Day, approximately 1.5 million older adults dine alone, while roughly 760,000 lack suitable clothing for the festive period, and 670,000 neither meet nor communicate with anyone, spending the holiday in solitude. The findings further indicate that many seniors feel neglected during Christmas, often due to assumptions made by younger people regarding their preferences or health limitations. Of the UK's population of 70 million, nearly 2 million are of Indian descent. This raises important questions about how many elders within our own community may also encounter similar experiences of neglect.
The government and welfare services do a great deal for senior citizens. Some elders live in care homes, and some are in hospitals for treatment and support, where they at least get a chance to talk with people of their own age. In the UK, the demand for elderly care and social-care homes has grown steadily over the past decade. According to a report, in England alone, new requests for adult social-care support have risen from around 1.81 million in 2015/16 to nearly 2.1 million by 2023/24, an increase of about 15%. By late 2025, care-home providers across the UK were accommodating roughly 354,125 residents, of which more than 327,000 were older adults. This rise is closely linked to shifting demographics: the population aged 65 and above is expected to increase sharply between 2020 and 2040, driving a continued surge in the need for structured elderly-care services.
How many elders in our families and communities are quietly being neglected? We need to ensure they feel cared for and included. Often, elders living with us may feel isolated or left out of daily life and celebrations. It's important to reflect on what efforts we make to help them feel valued.
We Indians grew up believing in the saying, “a family that eats together, stays together.” Sharing a meal was never just about food, it was about talking, connecting and simply being there for each other. Sitting together made everyone feel included, whether young or old. But today, this lovely habit is slowly disappearing. Busy routines, phones and separate schedules have taken over, and the warmth of mealtime is slipping away. It’s time we bring this tradition back and remind ourselves how much strength it adds to a family.
If you want to understand how a small, thoughtful gesture can bring light, joy, and enthusiasm into the lives of lonely elders then meet Shashibhai and Pallaviben or Palluben Patel of Twickenham, who have run Meet & Deep News for 40 years, invite anyone feeling lonely to join their Christmas celebrations at their shop, showing how simple gestures can bring comfort and joy to elders in the community.
At their event, the Patel couple along with their two sons, Meeten and Deepen, host carol singing and serves food, creating an opportunity for the community to gather and connect. When someone was unable to attend due to illness, they started a live Facebook game show so everyone could participate from home. Their efforts attract hundreds each year to Meet & Deep News and have earned them the Point of Light Award from former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak. Throughout the year, they also organise various community projects and fundraisers.
This Christmas, several groups, including the Sikh community at Birmingham’s main station and the Young Indian Vegetarian Society, have led service initiatives, with temples and other community organisations also involved. However, there is still a need for more active support for lonely elders, as Christian and Muslim communities often lead in this area.
Ultimately, while organisations help, real impact comes from individuals and families. Simple gestures: smiling, greeting, conversing, or offering a hug, can make a significant difference. Our elders deserve recognition and care for all they’ve contributed, making it both a responsibility and a moral duty to give back. This Christmas, let’s reach out and brighten the lives of those elders who may be feeling alone.
Knowledge, service, legacy: The distinguished journey of Lord Bhikhu Parekh
In recent years, an increasing number of couples have chosen to remain childless for various reasons. This stands in contrast to a few decades ago, when such decisions were relatively uncommon. Traditionally, families anticipated the arrival of children soon after marriage, and if there were delays, various remedies were sought. Local herbal practitioners, or Vaidyas, were frequently consulted, and blessings from saints, along with sacred rituals, were invoked to facilitate conception. At that time, modern fertility treatments such as IVF were not available.
Although times have changed, the desire for motherhood remains strong among many women. When a child is born after a long period of waiting, families often devote significant love, care, and attention to the newborn—particularly if it is a boy, who might receive names such as Bhikhu, Mafat, or Jutha. Such children are regarded as blessings or "God-given" gifts, an observation made not only in India but also in Africa. In Britain, however, these traditions are less common.
A similar narrative emerged within the Parekh family of Amalsad, South Gujarat. After several years of marriage, they welcomed a son named Bhikhu. This child would later become an esteemed figure in the community, known globally as Professor Lord Bhikhu Parekh.
At the time, Amalsad was a small village, yet Bhikhubhai stood out for his intelligence and ambition. He not only excelled in his own studies but also inspired his brothers to pursue higher education. From Amalsad, he moved to the UK, Canada and eventually back to Britain, where he became a respected professor and was later nominated to the House of Lords. His expertise and scholarly contributions are now broadly acknowledged within the academic community. Even now, at around ninety years of age, he continues to attend sessions at the House of Lords with dedication.
Living sixty miles from London, Lord Parekh commutes regularly and continues sharing his knowledge despite needing a walking stick. You may have read in Asian Voice dated 29 November 2025, (page 09) about the Parekh family’s remarkable contributions. How alongside his brother Chandrakant, Lord Parekh founded the Nirmaan Foundation, donating over £860,000 to various organisations. Teachers were once respectfully known as “Pantuji.” A teacher's role is to share knowledge, provide guidance, and serve society-qualities that Lord Parekh has embodied throughout his life.
A renowned political philosopher, Prof. Lord Bhikhu Parekh has authored many books and lectures, earning recognition for his contributions to both academia and society. Our community proudly honours Lord Parekh and pays tribute to his parents, whose guidance and support helped shape such an extraordinary life.
