Henry was placed against the wall, and just before the order to shoot, he yelled out "Earthquake!" The firing squad panicked. In the confusion, Henry jumped over the wall and escaped. Charlie was next, and while the squad reassembled, he pondered what Henry had done. Before they could shoot, he shouted "Tornado!" Again, the squad scattered and Charlie slipped away to safety. Last in line was George. He thought, "I see the pattern here. Just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall."
As the firing squad raised their rifles and took aim, George grinned smugly and yelled, "Fire!"
***
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a very serious problem. I only hear half of everything." "That can't be," the doctor answers. "Either you can hear everything or you can't hear anything. Let's see. Repeat after me. Ninety Six." "Forty Eight" says the man.
***
Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality. "No," the man replied. "Landmines."