A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. "I have an interesting case here," he says. "A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested her?" asks the sergeant. "No, not yet. The floor’s still wet."
***
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a brief, fruitless search, he gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes found the lens. "How did you do that?" he asked. "We weren’t looking for the same thing," she explained. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."
***
Visiting a college campus, the prospective student spots a building called Hemingway Hall. "That’s nice," he says, "a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," says the tour guide, "it’s named for Joshua Hemingway." "Was he a writer?" the student asks. "Yes. He wrote a big check."