A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging him and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" he replied, "That would be fine by me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Two Englishmen, two Scotsmen, two Welshmen and two Irishmen were marooned on a desert island. The two Scotsmen got together and started a bank; the two Welshmen got together and started a choir; the two Irishmen got together and started a fight; The two Englishmen never spoke to each other - they hadn't been introduced!