I refer to the article “The Baggage of Old Age” in last week’s AV, which vividly describes dilemma facing elderly parents, especially single parents when one partner passes away. Normally ladies are the ones who are left behind, due to their life-longevity.
While most children, especially those who are brought up in joint families, under the care, culture and family tradition of love, respect and appreciation, are culturally well-versed, took good care of their elderly parents and grandparents in their hour of need.
Unfortunately, the trend is moving in the wrong direction under the influence of Western culture. The fault line lies fairly and squarely at the foot of parents. When we were young, it was family tradition to hold satsang (Prayer Meeting) at least once a month when all family members and few close friends get together for an hour or two singing bhagans (Devotional songs) dhoon (Chanting) and at the end Arti with delicious Prasad.
So often knowledgeable Vadils (elderly) will give a short talk on religion, culture, obligation and family tradition and will answer questions from inquisitive youngsters. This type of gathering used to build love, respect, loyalty and unity among family members that served us well in our old age. But unfortunately this is not the case, the trend among younger generation parents who may prefer family gathering in restaurants or pubs, over meals, an outing, celebrating birthdays, Diwali and other such occasions.
While such gatherings should not be frowned-upon, as they serve their purpose, give momentary pleasure. But it is not the same as old type Satsang in one’s own home that builds characters, bind families together, even during long interlude when children are away studying at universities.
As Kantibhai Nagda so eloquently put, “How scenario of the conditions of old people in Asian community have changed over the years”. Now we put more emphasis on wealth in ever changing materialist world. Parents so often transfer their wealth, including their homes to their children’s names, for meretricious reasons, without thinking of their future, as most parents believe that their children will take care of them in their old age and so often end up homeless due to mistakes of first magnitude!
One good trend is that our elders now move to Sheltered Homes where they are well looked after, enjoy company of their fellow septuagenarians. But it is time for our elders to think and obligatory consult professionals, follow their advice and not to act on impulse! No wonder so many elderly people are found sheltering in shopping Center during winter months to save heating cost at home!
Bhupendra M. Gandhi
By email
